Hot Day

Today is going to be very hot outside so I am praying for some relief as I move though the day.  Lots happened yesterday and for that today I am thankful for...

1.  I am very very thankful to the universe for the money I needed to pay my rent.  Thank you...thank you...thank  you.
2.  I continue to be grateful for all the financial abundance that continues to flow into my life.  I know it will take a wee bit of time to change my story, but I am convinced the money will begin flowing soon...very soon.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
3.  I am so thankful for the kind words from Kevin yesterday when he learned that I was leaving.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
4.  I am grateful for my amazing car.  Thank you..thank you...thank you for going and going and going.
5.  I am eternally grateful that Cameron and Tiffany had a fun and safe trip in South East Asia.  Thank you...thank you...thank you for keeping them safe and happy.
6.  I am grateful for my amazing pets who always great me with such enthusiasm.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
7.  I am thankful for electricity for keeping my house cool on this hot day.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
8.  I am very grateful for the new job opportunity.  This job is going to change my life and for that I am very very grateful.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
9.  I am so so grateful for a good nights sleep.  Thank you ...thank you...thank you.
10.  I am thankful for the roof over my head...it is so wonderful to come home and have a safe and lovely place to rest.  Thank you ... thank you...thank you!
11.  And I am so grateful to Justin for cleaning the house last night so Cam, Tiff and Isla can enjoy a clean house.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.

Have an amazing day.

So Grateful

This morning I'm battling a wee bit of trepidation as I begin to face the day knowing I have to pay rent.  Yikes!  But alas, I am telling a different story and refusing to believe in lack regardless of what my bank account looks like.  I am convinced that all is well...and that abundance is flowing into my life.  And with that, I am grateful for:

1.  I am so very very grateful for the roof over my head and the understanding by the management about paying my rent a wee bit late.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
2.  I am thankful for all the abundance that is flowing and continuing to flow into my life.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
3.  I am grateful for my new job.  Thank you...thank you...thank you for this amazing opportunity.  Can't wait!
4.  I am so very very thankful for all the amazing people in my life who bring so much richness to each and every day.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
5.  I am so thankful that Cameron and Tiffany are coming home tomorrow after an amazing trip to SouthEast Asia...thank you...thank you...thank you for making this adventure come to life.
6.  I am grateful for my amazing car that gets me from home to work and back again with no complaints.  I do not know what I would do without you!  Thank you...thank you ... thank you for being my work horse.
7.  I am so grateful to Halley for making a great dinner last night.  It really helped me relax after a busy day.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
8.  I am thankful for all the people who make my life so wonderful...electricity, water, food...etc.   Thanks to all who bring amazing gifts to my life.  Thank you...thank you...thank you!
9.  I am so thankful that Isla is coming to town on Sunday...thank you...thank you...thank you for making this opportunity happen.
10.  I am so very very grateful for my amazing pets who show me so much love...thank you...thank you...thank you,.  My life would be so sad without you.

Have an amazing day!

Garteful

Today  I am keeping it simple...

Today I am gratefulfor:
1.  I am so very grateful for a roof over my head...thank you...thank you...thank you.
2.  I am so very very thankful for an understanding management company that allows me to pay my rent on Friday.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
3.  I am grateful for the energy to get the house cleaned yesterday.  It was a rough day because of lack of sleep...thank you ... thank you...thank you.
4.  I am so very grateful for a good nights sleep.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
5.  I am very very thankful for all the abundance that keeps flowing into my life.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
6.  I am grateful for the sweet note that Halley sent me yesterday on facebook.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
7.  I am thankful for all these pets who make me feel so loved all the time.  Thank you..thank you...thank you.
8.  I am thankful that Justin finished cleaning their room yesterday.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
9.  I am so very very grateful for my new job and all the changes it will bring to my life.  Thank you...thank you...thank you for this amazing opportunity.
10.  And finally I am so eteranlly grateful for the money that will be in my bank account on Friday so I can pay my rent.  Thank you...thank you...thank you!

Have  a great day everyone!

Why DO I Do This To Myself?

Sometimes I just don't understand myself...I know this stuff works.  I have seen it in action and yet, I always get tripped up when it comes to counting my blessings.  There is always something else to do...or I'm tired...or I just forget until it's too late and I'm away from my computer.  This should be a daily task that I look forward to so it just flows off my fingers...but alas, sometimes it feels like a chore.  LOL  Not the way it's supposed to be by any stretch of the imagination...that is for sure!  And since it sometimes feels like a chore, I am obviously NOT getting it completely.  :(

So, once again I make the commitment to count my blessings every day so I can begin to turn my life into the blessed and magical life I envision in my head.  And the first order of business is to just trust.  Just trust that everything is going to work out just fine.  Just trust I can create my new reality with all its wonder by just trusting and 'telling a different story'.  So, since I have nothing to lose, here I go again.  Looking at the positive.  Tackling the demons when they arise.  And putting to rest all those old messages that tell me I cannot have what I want because it is NOW time to begin creating the life I truly desire.  One with no more financial stress.  One that includes the love of my life.  One that brings a new home with a yard and big garden.  One that allows me to be in love with life and everything wonderful it has to offer.  The time is NOW...there is NO turning back.

Today I am grateful for:
1.  I am so very very grateful for the amazing new job that I was just offered and accepted yesterday with The Faculty Club at UC Berkeley.  This means the world to me and I will succeed beyond my wildest expectations.  Thank you...thank you...thank you!!!
2.  I am very thankful for the ability to create this new job by just changing my story and inviting the new position into my life.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
3.  I am grateful for the gift of friendship from Shelley who is there for me always...no matter what the situation.  Thank you...thank you...thank you
4.  I am so thankful that I have only 2 more weeks at The Ranch and will not be making that crazy drive any longer.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
5.  I am so very very grateful for my amazing car that just keeps going and going and going.  She is going to get a well deserved rest.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
6.  I am eternally grateful that I have a roof over my head and understanding landlords who allow me to pay my rent a wee bit late during this challenging time.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
7.  I am so grateful for all the abundance that is flowing and continuing to flow into my life...thank you...thank you...thank you.
8.  And thank you for all the signs of abundance that keep gracing my life.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
9.  Thank you for this lovely day off...I need this after the crazy weekend I just had.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
10.  And finally...I am so very grateful that Cameron and Tiffany are having an amazing time and are safe as they travel through South East Asia.  Please continue to keep them safe.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.

Back Again

I've been declaring my gratitude's verbally recently as I have been driving into work...but today I am putting them down on paper.

1.  I am so very grateful for the job interview yesterday with Felix and the ladies at The Faculty Club at UC Berkeley because it is proof that my next wonderful job is manifesting...thank you...thank you...thank you.!
2.  I am so very very grateful that I was able to sell the diamond and have the money to pay my rent and pay off some bills because it feels so good to be financially responsible...thank you...thank you...thank you!
3.  I am thankful for the opportunity to meet Jennifer because she has renewed my faith and trust in people...thank you...thank you...thank you!
4.  I am so very grateful for the abundance that continues to flow into my life making my life more happy, joyful and perfect...thank you...thank you...thank you!
5.  I am thankful for the wonderful dinner last night at Saturn.  It was nice to go out to dinner and share that time with Halley & Justin...thank you...thank you...thank you!
6.  I am grateful for the time off yesterday so that I could go to the interview and have some free time with Halley & Justin...thank you...thank you...thank you!
7.  I am so very thankful for another good nights sleep...thank you...thank you...thank you!
8.  I am eternally grateful for the book, 'Money & the Law of Attraction' because it has already changed my life and continues to change my life daily...thank you...thank you...thank you.
9.  I am so grateful for my amazing car that gets me to and from everywhere I need to go without complaint.  Thank you...thank you...thank you!
10.  I am so very very grateful for the money that continues to flow into my life because it is allowing me to live the life I so love and provide for myself and the kids...thank you...thank you...thank you!


And there you have it...the top 10 things I am grateful for today...enjoy your day too!

Beautiful Day

I am loving 'Money, and the Law of Attraction' but I am challenged to stay awake while reading...tonight I'm going to start earlier to see if I can stay awake long enough to read more than a couple pages...hee hee..

As I face this day, I am still faced with the same challenges as yesterday.  How to find the money to pay my rent, pay my other bills, put food on the table, and gas in my car.  But as I face the day, I am a bit lighter and feeling as though, this too shall pass, and that everything will work out...everything.  It may take awhile, but it all will work out.

Having said that...today I am grateful for:

1.  I am so very very grateful for my amazing car that gets me to and from work without complaint and without having been serviced in months.  Thank you ... thank you...thank you amazing car.  Service is coming, I promise.
2.  I am so very grateful to have Halley and Justin in my life because they both are so positive and fill my days with joy.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
3.  I am thankful for the beautiful flowers and card Halley and Justin gave me yesterday...I was so surprised, it took my breath away.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
4.  I am eternally grateful for all the abundance that continues to flow into my life.  I am so blessed.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
5.  I am very very grateful for having the money I need to live my life and pay my bills.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
6.  I am grateful for the wonderful dinner that Halley and Justin made for me last night.  It was so yummy and so needed.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
7.  I  am so very grateful for all the new job opportunities that are presenting themselves to me on a daily basis.  One is going to be my dream job, I am confident of that.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
8. I am grateful for the magic that will be created today...I cannot wait.  Thank you ...thank you...thank you.
9.  I am very very grateful to Margie for always sending job opportunities my way and her confidence in me.  It means a lot and the help is greatly appreciated,  Than you...thank you...thank you.
10.  And I am so thankful for all the beauty that surrounds me.  I am grateful for all the beauty in nature.  Thank you ...thank you ...thank you.
11.  And one more...I am so thankful for the contact with the woman who will help me sell the jewelry so I can add more money to my life and pass on these beautiful pieces to someone who will love and cherish them.  Thank you ...thank you...thank you.

As I go out to face the day...I am going to concentrate on all the things I am so grateful for, and look for all the blessings in my life.

Blessings!!!

Day Two...Again

This morning, after a wee bit of a 'too tired to think' break, I am back at it...

After a relaxing and some-what productive 2 days off, I am grateful for:

1.  I am so very grateful for all the abundance that continues to flow into my life because it fills my life with joy.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
2.  I am grateful for a good nights sleep because I do so much better when I had enough sleep...thank you...thank you...thank you.
3.  I am so very very grateful for the surprise phone call yesterday from Mary because it appears to be the sign I was looking for...thank you...thank you...thank you.
4.  I am very grateful for a fabulous walk on Cow Hill yesterday and getting to enjoy the beauty of the morning.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
5.  I am very very grateful for the book, 'Money, and the Law of Attraction', because it is going to open up my life to more money constantly flowing into my life.  Thank you...thank you...thank you!
6.  I am thankful for finding the place to sell my jewelry that was right down the street because it seemed to have fallen from the sky...thank you...thank you...thank you.
7.  I am so very grateful for all the jobs that have peeked my interest because I know that one will be my right and perfect job...thank you...thank you...thank you.
8.  I am so thankful for the devotion of Molly because she fills my days with joy.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
9.  I am grateful that I have a roof over my head and the money to pay for it because it's nice to have a place to live that is so wonderful.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
10.  I am grateful for the money in my bank account and all the money that is flowing into my life because it allows me to pay my bills and enjoy my life...thank you...thank you...thank you.

Today I must pay my rent and I am not sure that I have the money to do so...but I am going to keep positive that something will come up...the money will appear...and I will be able to make my rent payment.

Thank you universe for everything in my life.  I am so blessed by all the opportunities that are brought into my life and all that is yet to be.  I know my dream job, new home, new car, and fabulous relationship are materializing...and for that I am eternally grateful.

Beginning Again!

So I have decided that I am sick and tired of living with fear and dread in complete stress and anxiety mode.  Beginning today I am giving up on living in fear, and am once again, beginning to live in gratitude so I can change my life for the better.  I will no longer be a victim in life...I am instead embracing life and moving forward with gratitude.

As I face this day, I am grateful for:
1.  I am grateful for all the abundance in my life and continues to flow into my life.  Thank you...thank you...thank you!
2.  I am grateful for my amazing car that gets me to and from work even though I have not had it serviced in forever...it's amazing and I am grateful!  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
3.  I am very grateful for my job which allows me to pay my rent...and all my bills.  Than you...thank you...thank you.
4.  I am eternally grateful for my amazing body which just keeps going even through all the stress and anxiety.  Thank you...thank you...thank you!
5.  I am extremely grateful for having all the money I need in the bank because it allows me to pay my bills.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
6.  I am extremely grateful for my dream job coming into my life.  This will be my right and perfect job and I am so very grateful to have it fall into my lap.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
7.  I am grateful for Shelley always being there for me because she keeps me centered and keep me in touch with the reality that anything is possible.  For Shelley, failure is NOT an option.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
8.  I am extremely grateful for the magic that is coming into my life today...because this is going to change my life.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
9.  I am grateful for a good nights sleep because I needed it.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
10.  I am grateful for my life...for this day...and for my family and friends.  Thank you...thank you...thank you for blessing me as you have!

Have a great day today everyone...I'm gonna make it a magical and grateful one!

Another Delay

Again, I find myself putting off the one thing that can bring goodness into my life and I wonder why that is.  Is it because I do not believe...is it because I cannot break out of the funk to be grateful...is it for a myriad of other reasons?  I am not sure...but what I am sure about is that I have been delinquent about being grateful...and for that I am not happy with myself.  For some reason I find it so much simpler to slip back into the abyss of darkness then to move into the light...especially at times when I really need to.  It is not that I am not grateful for everything in my life, I am...it's just that I can't seem to breakthrough all the depression to begin to be grateful.  All the bad thoughts just keep taking over my mind and I have trouble, except for short periods of time, not focusing on the doom and gloom of my life right now.  Again I say, this is not where I expected to be at this time in my life...but it is where I find myself...and I need to change things dramatically.  But for some reason being positive and thinking all is well seems to feel more like kidding myself than being realistic...I'm sorry to say.

When will I get it...when will I realize that it is exactly times like these that I need to be the most grateful for what I already have...not live in fear of what might be?   

I'm going back to the drawing board...I am beginning again to start this journey.  I will start again from the beginning and move forward.  No more moving backwards for me...no more.  

Day 8 - 'The Magic Ingredient'

I know, I've been at this longer than 8 days but I'm still at it and that makes me happy.  LOL.  Sometimes we need to go at our own pace to make sure we really understand what is being taught, and we integrate the lessons.  

I will admit a lot of this has thrown me into a tail-spin, so to speak.  I have realized that somewhere along the line, and I'm not too sure where, I lost my uber positive attitude and zest for life.  I was never this way until recently, so this has been a god-given gift to get back in touch with who I am and recapture my love, and excitement, for life.  I will admit, I am still lost.  Still trying to find my way out of whatever place I was residing.  But each day gets better and better, and each day I get closer and closer to understanding exactly how 'The Magic' works.  I no longer wallow for days...I am able to feel the emotion...work through it...and move on.  This is good...this is really good.  I am, at the end of the day, able to hold my heart rock in my hand and be thankful for more than just one amazing experience that day.  I am beginning to look for the good...the positive...and the blessings again.  And I love it.  

Clearly things may not be what I want them to be right now, but I will not fail.  I am a survivor...I am a Scot.  I come from pioneer stock and I will make it through this, and come out better and stronger on the other side.  This I know.  I may not realize it all the time, I may slip back into panic and fear, but deep down, I know I will not fail.  And for that I am grateful!  Truly grateful!

So, this chapter is all about eating and nourishing your body.  This is another tough one for me because, you see, whenever I get sad, stressed, depressed, you name it, I shut down.  And when I shut down, I stop eating.  I just can't seem to 'stomach' food when I have something else going on.  So this has been a challenge over the past couple of months.  I have lost a ton of weight...and not only because of stress, but because of my crazy work schedule...this is my challenge, I realize.  And for me, it is easier sometimes not to eat then to try to figure out how to work it into my day...silly, I know.  It's times like these that my anorexia kicks back in...and as strange as it may seem, it's my crazy way of having some control in my life as well. 

As many of you know, I have just a few days to find a place to live since the house that I was moving into is no longer available.  This has put undue stress on me as I also have very little time to look for places.  So, with this stress, which I am trying to turn into excitement, I can't eat.  Yesterday I was able to force down a veggie taco...yeah! 

We need food to live...we need food to keep us at our best...we need food to make our brains work properly...this I get.  So I am going to begin working on making sure that I do eat.  Promise!

As I face this day, this is what I am thankful for...

1.  I am so grateful that I have a roof over my head and that Shelley and Mark have been so gracious and kind to let me stay here for as long as they have...thank you...thank you...thank you.
2.  I am thankful that there was one place that I found yesterday that would meet my needs temporarily.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
3.  I am grateful that even though I found this one place, I know others will materialize and present themselves, so I will not be homeless.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
4.  I am so very thankful for the friendship of Shelley...she is a rock and won't let me fail.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
5.  I am so very grateful that even through all the stress, I remain positive about the outcome of finding a place for Halley, Justin and I to live.  Thank you...thank you...thank you for my undying spirit.
6.  I am grateful that I have a clean car...thank you...thank you...thank you to all the wonderful folks who worked on it yesterday.  I makes me happy to have a clean car!!!  Thank you...thank you...thank you!
7.  I am eternally grateful for the support of all my kids through this tough time.  I am not quite sure how I got here, but here I am, and I am so appreciative of their love and support...they have no idea.  Thank you ... thank you...thank you!
8.  I am especially grateful for my daughter-in-law, Tiffany, who has taken it upon herself to help guide me through this entire process of finding a place to live.  This is foreign territory for me and a very stressful ordeal.  She has been a blessing.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.  I don't know what I would do without you!
9.  I am also extremely grateful for my Scottish daughter, Isla, who is there for me all the time...even across thousands of miles she is my constant reminder that I need to be gentle with myself and love myself first.  Amen to that my dear.  Thank you...thank you...thank you!  You too are a blessing in my life!

10.  And I am so very very grateful for this life experience.  I have learned so much.  I do not ever want to be in this place ever again but I do value the lesson of not taking anything for granted...thank you...thank you...thank you.

SO, let's go out there and make it the best day ever.  I know more properties will manifest for me...I know I will find my right and perfect house...and I know too that my new exciting job that fills my heart with joy and passion is arriving soon !

Namaste!

A Day

Today has been an interesting day...to say the least.  If found out last night that I didn't get the cute cottage that I fell head over heels for and that sent me into a tail spin.  I have to stop doing this...seriously.  I could not, for the life of me, no matter how hard I tried, seem to get myself out of the funk I was in.  And to make matters worse, it's my daughter's birthday, so I should have been uber happy.  Instead, I allowed myself to once again fall into the dregs of sadness, fear and depression...and ending up with that helpless feeling of despair.  I did not come from a place of gratitude at all.  And today, of all days, I should have been so very grateful because today is the day, 26 years ago that my youngest daughter, Halley was born.  Oh my.  When am I going to get it?  When am I going to realize that being in that state does not do me any good at all...in fact, all it does is make me miserable and steal life from me.

What I am learning is that it is much harder to be grateful than I ever anticipated.  I have allowed myself to become so critical over the past year that coming from a place of thankfulness is difficult at best.  But, I am trying.  Oh how I am trying.  I am proud to say that I was able to draw myself back from the depth of who knows what after talking with my daughter-in-law and letting go of the energy behind what I was feeling.  She said some things to me that really made sense, and that I needed to hear, and helped me focus on what was really important.  She's amazing that way. 

So between her common sense and loving advice and a long walk with the dogs, my positive attitude is back.  And I have learned, once again, that nothing is as bad as it seems.  There is always a solution...somewhere.  So with that said, here are the things I am grateful for today...

1.  I am so amazingly and eternally grateful and thankful that my daughter Halley was born 26 years ago today because she is my rock and I honestly do not know what I would do without her.'m blessed to be her mom.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
2.  I am very very grateful and appreciative of my daughter-in-law, Tiffany, for always, always being there for me and helping me to see the light.  Thank you ...thank you...thank you.  
3.  I am thankful for the amazing walk today on Cow Hill with the dogs because it got me outside in the fresh air surrounded by the beauty of nature and some nice folks.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
4.  I am very grateful that the place we looked at, even though it was from outside, was not as bad as I thought it was going to be....It just might work.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
5.  I am thankful for all the places that Tiffany sent me today to call on or email so tomorrow I can feel productive and see what exactly is out there.  Thank you ...thank you...thank you.
6.  I am grateful to know that this doesn't have to be permanent....this is just my temporary home until I find my dream job.  That revelation from my daughter-in-law really turned the tide for me.  Thank you..thank you...thank you.
7.  I am, believe it or not, grateful that I did not get the cute little cottage because it really was too small for all of us and the pets.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
8.  I am thankful that even though it is probably the best move for Kelly, she may not stay at the farm house and I might be able to go there afterall.  Just that knowing has made a difference.   Thank you...thank you...thank you.
9.  I am so very thankful for Shelly and Mark for letting me stay with them for as long as they have...thank you...thank you...thank you.
10.  I am so very very grateful of the knowing that my right and perfect place will appear when I need it to... Thank you ... thank you... thank you.

So, there it is...once again from the despair to gratitude in one day.  One of these days I will get it....I promise.  One of these days I will understand that living from a place of gratitude brings what I need when I need it...and that is what I need.  I just hope it doesn't take me too long to get this integrated into my being.

Happy Monday...and Happy Birthday Halley!

Turning to Gratitude

After rereading 'The Magical Way Out of Negativity' I am moving forward with my ten reasons I am grateful I did not get the little cottage that I so loved.  As I said, there is a reason, and in an effort to not panic, I am turning to gratitude to bring my perfect house to me within the time I need it.  I know this will happen and gratitude will make it so.

So, here goes...
1.  I am thankful that I did not get the little house because it was really too small and I would not have been able to surround myself with all my furniture and things that bring me joy.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
2.  I am grateful that new places are opening up each day and one will be perfect for me.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
3.  I am thankful that there are more days before I have to move so I can continue looking.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
4.  I am grateful that there are so many options out there that will allow my pets.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
5.  I am thankful that I have two days off to begin looking again.  The timing is perfect.  Thank you ...thank you...thank you.
6.  I am grateful to have been considered for this little cottage even though I wasn't selected...Thank you...thank you...than you.
7.  I am grateful that I still have a roof over my head...Thank you...Thank you...thank you.
8.  I am thankful for my new place even though it has not come to me yet.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
9.  I am thankful that even through my disappointment, I am able to be grateful for what I have.  Thank you ...thank you...thank you.

10.  I am thankful for this experience because it has allowed me to see how valuable a home is and I will never take my home for granted ever. Thank you ... thank you...thank you.

Thank You...Thank You...Thank You for a perfect resolution!

This, I will admit, was challenging.  But they say that the hardest, and most necessary part, is finding things to be grateful for when things are tough.  So with a grateful heart...I say goodnight and I allow the magic to manifest into my new home.

Next...

I'm trying not to be disappointed...and trying to feel thankful, and not scared, that I was not selected to rent the cute little cottage in Lafayette.  I know there are reasons why not...and I know they will reveal themselves at some point, but as the time to move from Alamo draws nearer, it is difficult to not panic that I have no place to go. 

So off to the next chapter in The Magic I go...wish me luck.

Kicked in the Teeth

So, I know I haven't been here for awhile and for that I apologize.  It's been a rough couple of days, to say the least.  And instead of finding gratitude for what I have, I sunk deeper into depression and fear.  You see, I have been working on something and have had one disappointment after another with this.  I won't go into detail because it's boring and not really the point.  But, suffice it to say, that Thursday, I got informed that I was going to have to start again and it would take more and more time.  Something I do not have a lot of anymore.  This information threw me into a tails spin to be honest...and the tears flowed.  I was unable to be consoled.  I was unable to see reason.  I was unable to do anything but sit in depressed fear and cry my eyes out feeling sorry for myself and thinking all was lost.

Now that I have made it to the other side, I realize, all was not lost and there were still a lot of things to be thankful for...I was just, in my despair, unwilling to see them.  And this is the point!  I get it now!  I think it took hitting rock bottom the other night to realize that through it all, no matter what happens, that there are always things to look positively at.

A hard lesson, for sure...but a necessary one.  I cannot say that I am completely out of the woods on this, because I still have not gotten what I needed but I can say that there are many many things that I am grateful for during this struggle...and how you look at it is the battle.  I read once that optimists accept adversity and disappointment and find ways to improve, while pessimists allow circumstances to beat them.  I want to be the optimist.  I want to know that no matter what happens, I can survive and move on.  So that is what I am doing...with gratitude.

I have not gotten what I need yet...it is being dealt with.  I still do not have a permanent place to live...I have not heard one way or the other on the cute little house.  And I still do not have a new job...none of the applications I have sent have I heard from.  But I refuse to give up.  I will make it through this time and move on in gratitude for what I already have...and I will succeed.  I may not know how...but I will.

So with that knowledge and commitment...I am moving on with my day and will do my gratitude work in the car as I drive to work this morning.

Enjoy your day...

Test of Faith

Any of you who are friends on facebook know something happened yesterday.  I sorta got the air knocked out of me, so to speak...and I have been trying, using gratitude, to turn this circumstance into a positive and not go into all out panic.

You see, I found out yesterday that the house that I was going to be moving in to in the next couple of weeks is not going to be for rent after all.  That the owners have decided to move there, which I think is a great idea and makes perfect sense.  The issue is, I have to move on or before Feb. 3rd, and literally have no where to go now.  And I only have only 3 weeks to find something suitable that will take Halley and me, and my pets...and that is the bugaboo...few rentals allow pets.  And I am not giving mine up...no way, no how.

But, as I said, I am trying to turn this around and be grateful that this happened.  This has not been easy, I will admit.  At first I went into all out panic but have settled down, and read a lot since then....and been trying to find things to be grateful for in light of this news.  I might not have been hit so hard had it not been a rough day to begin with yesterday.  I will admit, I had a breakdown.  The emotion of my struggle the past few months just got to me, and I was unable to contain it any longer...so the tears flowed and the negativity spewed from my mouth.  So, needless to say, getting this news yesterday did nothing to help my overall perception of my life thus far, and the life changing decisions I have made.

Having said all that...I settled...finally last night.  I picked up 'The Magic' and reread the chapter on money again...moved on to the next chapter, 'Works like Magic'...and then kept going to 'The Magical Way Out of Negativity'.  This was good...this was enlightening...and it allowed me to begin to change my perspective to the positive and begin to realize all is not lost...yet!  That by being thankful for what you have does in fact bring more positive into your life.  It's the law of attraction.  Buddah said, 'Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we did get sick, at least we didn't die, so, let us all be thankful.'

So this is what I have to be thankful for...

1.  I am grateful that my friend has made this decision because it is the best decision for her and her daughters. Thank you...thank you...thank you.
2.  I am grateful that I found out yesterday so I have time to find another place that will work for me, Halley and the pets.  Thank you...thank you...thank you...
3.  I am grateful that I will not be adding an extra half-hour to my already long commute.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
4.  I am grateful that I will not be putting my pets at risk being that far out with the threat of coyotes, etc to harm or possibly kill them.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
5.  I am so grateful that Kelly is taking care of herself and her girls first because that is the most important thing for her right now.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
6.  I am so very grateful for all support from people this change in plans has brought about.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
7.  I am grateful that I will not have to worry about propane and water now....thank you...thank you...thank you.
8.  I am grateful for all the new opportunities that will present themselves to me...and the fabulous new home I find.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
9.  I am grateful that my new home is manifesting even as we speak and will be revealed to me soon.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
10.  I am grateful that I still have a roof over my head, my kids are safe and that I have a job to go to every morning that brings me the income I need to survive in the Bay Area until my right and perfect job appears.  Thank you ...thank you...thank you.

Yet, even with all this gratitude in my heart, here is where I sometimes get hung up...trying to stay positive and be completely focused on the reality that everything will work out for the best.  I am a firm believer that there are no accidents or coincidences...that everything happens for a reason.  We may not know those reasons at the time we are going through what we are going through but in time they will be revealed.  And to certainly be grateful for what I have.  But sometimes, every so often, I wonder if this is the case at all...that maybe it's this belief system of mine that is what gets me into trouble in the first place...that deep down knowing that everything will be ok...everything will turn out 'fine and dandy', when in reality, it will not.  And that I am just kidding myself.  But, I guess even with those thoughts running through my head it is hard for me to believe that it's not going to be ok...that everything will turn out the way it is supposed to.  That everything will be revealed in due time.  To just let go...and let God.  Well, this is the test!


So, folks, there you have it...the newest speed bump along the road to my new life.  I have often heard it said that the 'universe doesn't close one door without opening another'...so this is a test of that theory.  This door has obviously closed, please open the new one....and fast!

Magic Money

Ok...this is the BIG one for me.  The really BIG one.  I have been struggling with the whole money thing for months now and am not happy with the situation at all.  I have never been in this place in life before where I have to scrape to make ends meet at the end of the month.  And to add to that stress, I am moving into a new place that will require an increase in rent...baahhhh!

So, last night I began the chapter on 'Magic Money'.  I do completely understand and agree with the principals...but am having a challenging time integrating them.  It is very difficult, I will tell you, to not stress about money when you do not have that much and things have to be paid.  I have not yet jumped this hurdle.  It's a big one for me.  I wish I were the type who just KNEW there would always be the money I need when I need it...but I am not there yet.  And I am hoping the teachings of this chapter will get me there...and soon.

The chapter states that when you worry about money, you block any coming into you.  If you are grateful for the amount of money you have, no matter how little, you will attract more.  That is the law of attraction...'Gratitude is riches.  Complaint is poverty'.  

Yeah, I get that but all day yesterday, all I could do was worry about not having enough money to buy gas to get me to work...to worry about the pittance I spent on lunch for fear it would make a difference in my bottom line instead of having fun and enjoying myself.  When I read the chapter last night...it all made sense.  But in the morning light, the old patterns are back.  There are things I need to do today...things I need to buy...and I am so stressed out about whether or not there will be enough for me to buy gas, I am completely stuck.  Stuck in this spot of knowing I need to be grateful for what I have yet stressed about what I  do not have....YIKES!

So, here I go...I am throwing caution to the wind and moving forward with gratitude because the stressing out is doing nothing but causing more stress, forcing me to focus on things that take away from the joy of living and blocking any goodness that is waiting to come into my life.  So, I am saying good-bye to the chest pains...saying good-bye to the stiff shoulders...and saying good-bye to the perceived lack in my life...and saying hello to abundance with the knowing that everything will work out.  That I will, once I get through this nonsense, attract all that I need into my life.  

I will later today do the work needed to move forward into prosperity...  I have found my dollar bill and I am going to put the words:  'THANK YOU FOR ALL THE MONEY I'VE BEEN GIVEN THROUGHOUT MY LIFE' on it so that I can begin to attract the money I need and want into my life.  

Let the magic begin!

Health!

So yesterday I was supposed to focus on health...but because it was such a crazy day, all I could do was briefly allow thoughts of health run through my mind as I was running helter skelter around for the party.  What I realized was that I am extremely blessed to have my health.  I am staring down yet another birthday and am so blessed to be as active and productive as I am.  Believe me, I know many people who are half my age who do not have the energy I have.  Now, I'm not bragging...I'm just stating facts.  

I am blessed with this amazing health of mine!  For example...recently as I was setting up for an event, a couch needed to be moved.  I asked the DJ for a wee bit of help as this thing weighed a lot and was probably 8 feet in length.  His response was, 'Oh, I couldn't possibly move that I'm 42'.  What the hell!  Are you serious.  So I said to him...'watch and learn.  I'm almost 61 and not only will I move this couch, I will do it backwards and in heels'.  And so I did.  I move the couch from one room to the other by myself with Mr. DJ and his staff watching with mouths agape.  BTW, not once did any of them offer to lend a hand...not once.

I tell this story, again, not to brag...but to declare how blessed I am to have my health...my energy level...and my zest for life.  I have never allowed health, or age, for that matter get in the way of doing anything.  Yes, I may joke around from time to time about being 'old' but the truth of the matter is that I am so eternally grateful that I am able to do all that I am able to do because I take care of myself...and never take 'no' for an answer.

So today, as I get ready to move on to my next challenge...money...I celebrate my health...my age...my energy...and my undying spirit.  Thank you universe for all the gifts of health that you have given me.  I shall protect and defend them against all odds.  And as I enter into my the new year at my new age, I will forge on without a second thought of how old I am.  After all, isn't age just a matter of opinion?

1.  I am so eternally grateful and blessed for my continued health...Thank you...thank you...thank you!
2.  I am grateful for my fabulous energy level...thank you...thank you...thank you.
3.  I am so very grateful for my lack of illness and my ability to decide not to get sick when everyone around me is dropping like flies...thank you ...thank you ...thank you.
4.  I am thankful for my legs which get me from one place to another with little or not complaint.  Thank you ...thank you...thank you.
5.  I am thankful for my fingers which are letting me type this right now.  Without them, I would be lost.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
6.  I am so grateful for my amazing mind.  It keeps me focused and moving forward in life.  Thank you ...thank you...thank you.
7.  I am grateful for my eyes which allow me to see the world around me and experience the beauty of life.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
8.  I am thankful for my ears which give me the opportunity to hear what is going on in my world...the voices of my loved one...the meows of my kittens...the whine of my dog...and beautiful music.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
8.  I am so very very grateful for my heart which keeps my body moving and keeps me alive.  Without it, well, you know the option.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
9.  I am grateful for my liver which allows me to enjoy a beautiful glass of wine each and every night.  Thank you...thank you...thank you for purifying my system
10.  I am so very very grateful for my amazing immune system that keeps me healthy even when others are getting sick.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.

What are you grateful for today?

Yikes...

It's been two days since I have been able to make my way to my computer to write...I hate that.  Although I am amazed at how life can step in and totally upset one's schedule.  For some reason, until today, I have been sleeping well beyond my normal wake up time of 5am...thus no time to post.  Of course, I am making up for that this morning by being awake at 2am...oh dear.

I have realized that not posting has affected my level of gratitude.  I am finding it harder to stay positive and feel good about my life in general...the pessimism has begun to return and I am finding myself being a lot less joyful in general.  So for any of you who think this doesn't work...well, it does.  I am living proof of that.  So I'm back at it...

I left off on the chapter about health and I haven't gotten back to it.  By in large, my health is good...and maybe that is why I have let this fall off a bit.  But that has done me no good.  I have had a struggle the past couple of days staying positive in general.  I'm looking for the positive and not seeing much of it at all...however, having said that, I haven't really been focused on the positive either...so I am sure that is a big reason why the positive is alluding me...

The biggest challenge for me is work.  There is little I like about it except for the people I work with so it makes it difficult to stay positive when the environment around me is so negative...so negative.  And maybe that's the challenge, to find the positive and be grateful for that...maybe then my new job will materialize.  It will be interesting to see because right now, being positive about anything at work is a real struggle.

But, this too shall pass...this was the first weekend without my assistant...and it was a struggle...and I missed her.  She was the shining star in my day. 


Ok...enough belly-aching...time to get back to being positive and grateful for everything I have in my life...and not what I lack, or is wrong.  That will get me nowhere and do nothing but continue to drag me down...and I don't need that, that is for sure.

So, here are the 10 things I am grateful for this Sunday morning at 3:00am...

1.   I am so very very grateful I have a roof over my head...and thankful to Mark and Shelley for providing it to me.  Thank you...thank you...thank you...
2.  I am thankful to have had the opportunity to work with the amazing Whitney...thanks for teaching me how to be tenacious and speak my mind.  Thank you ... thank you...thank you.
3.  I continue to be grateful for my wonderful car which just keeps rolling along without complaint.  Thank you...thank you...thank you for your loyalty.
4.  I am grateful to my darling Scottish daughter, Isla, who religiously is there with me on facebook when I cannot sleep in the middle of the night, and who always provides me with tons of love and support.  Thank you...thank you...thank you Isla.  I am so blessed to have you in my life.
5.  I am so very grateful for the time I have gotten to spend with my daughter, Halley.  I miss her so much and it has been such a blessing to have her around for the past couple of weeks...Thank you...thank you...thank you.
6.  I am eternally grateful to have had the time to talk with my son, Cameron, this week as well.  He's been out of the country and is finally back so we can resume our talks...thank you...thank you...thank you.  You are my inspiration.
7.  I am very grateful for the knowing that, this too shall  pass, and that everything is going to work out, even if there are days when I think the entire world will crash in around me.  I do, in my heart of hearts know that things will get better...they always do, and for that I am grateful.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
8.  I am thankful for the good sleep I have gotten over the past few nights.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
9.  I am very thankful for my morning coffee...it is the one thing I look forward to every morning.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
10.  I am so very thankful that I have also gotten time to talk with my daughter, Ailis, these past couple days.  I miss her so much as well and it is wonderful to get to talk to her.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.

Well, there's my list for today.  Interestingly, I do feel much better...not as down as I was when I started writing this.  I think I might even be able to sleep for a little while now....

Wish me luck!

Day 4 - Magical Health

Today I am to move on to being grateful for my health but with all the upsets yesterday I did not really get a chance to be grateful for the relationships I have in my life...I was never able to break from the disappointment and sadness to look at the pictures of my kids and be grateful for who they are.  I will do that today and move on to Magical Health either later in the day, or tomorrow.

I have to say that through all the gloom of yesterday, there were bright spots as well...and I attribute that to gratitude.  I am so grateful for my assistant and what she has taught me over the past few months through her generous and kind spirit...and her tenacity.  This woman is afraid of nothing...or anyone.  And I mean to emulate that.  What a lesson.

My GM decided to fire her yesterday for reasons that make no sense to anyone...and are truly the fault of mismanagement and poor management.  Try as I might, I was not able to convince my GM of her worth...as she said, 'her mind was made up...and that was that'.  The good news is that my assistant, and yes, she will always be that and more to me, will rise about this.  She will shine.  She will go on to bigger and better things while my GM will remain as she is...alienating  people...being rude...yelling to get her way.  Because at the end of the day, 'the way someone treats you is there Karma, how you react is yours.'  Not sure who said that but truer words were never spoken...

The silver lining is that my assistant will be just fine, and in some respects, she was relieved.  Relieved to be away from the constant negative environment...relieved to not have to wait for yet another insult...relieved to be free to move on with no feelings of dedication to me.  And for this I am grateful.  She will shine.  She has already found something else, and she and her hubby may be moving out of state.  So the timing is perfect!  It always is.

As I move into this day...I am still carrying my heavy heart knowing I won't have her to walk this walk with me any longer...but with the gratitude of knowing that she is fine.  And that I will not be far behind.  My right and perfect job is manifesting even as we speak and I too will have the unbridled passion to face each day when I go to work.

So today...here are my 10 gratitudes:
1.  I am so eternally grateful for Whitney and all that she has taught me about being true to yourself.  These lessons live on in me...thank you...thank you...thank you.
2.  I am grateful that Whitney will be just fine and will shine beyond her wildest expectations because of this experience...thank you...thank you...thank you...
3.  I am thankful for my GPS system in my car which got me out of that horrible area last night in the dark when I couldn't see a thing and had no idea where I was.  thank you...thank you...thank you!
4.  I am grateful for my car which just keeps plugging along even without care.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.  Service is coming, I promise.
5.  I am grateful that Halley and Shelley waited until I got back last night to eat dinner...it was so nice to have company.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
6.  I am thankful for another great nights sleep...thank you ...thank you...thank you.
7.  I am thankful that today is another day closer to my last day at The Ranch because my new job awaits...thank you...thank you...thank you.
8.  I am so grateful for my life...thank you ... thank you...thank you.
9.  I am so very thankful that Halley has stayed in Alamo as long as she has because I miss her so much and it's nice to have her close....thank you...thank you...thank you!
10.  And finally, I am so grateful for my health...THE GIFT OF HEALTH IS KEEPING ME ALIVE.  That is my mantra today and I am so eternally grateful that I have my health and continue to have it renewed.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.

Ok folks...go out and make it a great day!

Day Three - Magical Relationships

Today I woke with a grateful heart...I really do think going to sleep holding my Magic Rock and counting my blessings for the day does work.  I slept peacefully and deeply.   Thank you Magic Rock...thank you.

Today's lesson is about Magical Relationships and finding three people in your life who you love and being more grateful for their presence in your life.  This is easy for me because my three people are, of course, my children...and I have to add in a fourth...my amazing daughter-in-law.  Today I am to look at each of their pictures and write five things about each of them that I am grateful for...EASY.  I absolutely adore each of my kids and am always finding amazing things about them to be grateful for...piece of cake.  So here goes...

Cameron:

• Thank you Cameron for always being there for me.
• Thank you Cameron for being my rock when I need a shoulder to cry on.
• Thank you Cameron for your amazing sense of humor and your ability to be spontaneous and always make me laugh.
• Thank you Cameron for being the incredible man you are.
• Thank you Cameron for being my pride and joy, and for all the wonderful times we have spent together, just you and me.

Ailis:

• Thank you Ailis for your amazing spirit.
• Thank you Ailis for always making me laugh
• Thank you Ailis for your unconditional love.
• Thank you Ailis for being my angel and always, always, always being in my heart
• Thank you Ailis for the laughter and craziness you bring to my life.

Halley:

• Thank you Halley for being my little girl in so many ways.
• Thank you Halley for beating the odds and proving to the world that you are capable and amazing.
• Thank you Halley for always understanding and being on my side.
• Thank you Halley for being so adaptable to each and every situation
• Thank you Halley for your captivating smile.

Tiffany:

• Thank you Tiffany for loving my son unconditionally
• Thank you Tiffany for loving me unconditionally and allowing me to be part of your life
• Thank you Tiffany for always bringing a smile to my heart
• Thank you Tiffany for because of you my son is happy
• Thank you Tiffany for the beautiful soul you are 

These are easy for me...what I think I need to work on is finding things within myself that I am grateful for.  It has always been easy for me to see the blessings and be grateful for what others bring to my life but I have always struggles with finding those qualities in myself that bring me joy...that I am grateful for.  So this is my challenge today...to find 5 things about me, that I am grateful for.  Wish me luck...


Tuesdays Gratitudes...
1.  I am so amazingly grateful to Shelley and Mark for the roof over my head...thank you...thank you...thank you.
2.  I am very grateful that the police officer got another call yesterday and didn't give Shelley a ticket for something I suggested she do...thank you...thank you...thank you.
3.  I am so very grateful for the fun afternoon yesterday with Halley and Shelley because I need more joy in my life...thank you...thank you...thank you.
4.  After a great night's sleep, I am so grateful to Mark for fixing my bed because I didn;t have to sleep on the slant.   Thank you....thank you...thank you.
5.  I am so grateful that my check will be coming soon because I need to pay a few bills...thank you...thank you...thank you.
6.  I am so very very grateful for the new job that is materializing even as we speak because I am so ready to find my passion...thank you...thank you...thank you.
7.  I am eternally grateful for my car and it's ability to get me where I need to go and back with no complaints...thank you...thank you...thank you.
8.  This morning I am grateful for another good nights sleep because I am a better person and life is good when I get sleep...thank you...thank you...thank you.
9.  I am so grateful for the love of friends...thank you...thank you...thank you.
10.  I am so very grateful to Margie and Craig for letting me leave my stuff at their house for this long because I have no other place to store it.  Thank you...thank you...thank you...
11.  And one last gratitude this morning.  I am very grateful for my new home because it fits me to a tee and gives me a peaceful place to come home to.  Thank you...Thank you...Thank you.

Day Two Again

Today I was supposed to move on to Day Three but instead I got wrapped up in having a great time on my day off...and slept in a bit too long...hee hee...

Today was a great day.  I spent the day running around with my amazing daughter Halley and my dear friend Shelley.  Now, I'm not saying it was without sadness and fear because there was a time today when I struggled to keep positive.  But through this moment, I was able to draw the strength from gratitude and the love of the two wonderful people with me to make it right.  I realized that no matter how badly I was feeling, I was still grateful.

I realized too that I had not written down the 10 things that I was grateful for when I woke up...so here we go:

1.  I am eternally grateful to Mark and Shelley for being so kind to let me live with them.  Their kindness overwhelms me...Thank You...Thank You...Thank You.
2.  I am grateful to Mark for fixing my bed so that I can sleep comfortably tonight and not sleep on the slant.  Thank You..thank you...thank you.
3.  I am so thankful to Shelley for lunch today because it was such a treat to be treated to lunch.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
4.  I am thankful for the fun I had with Shelley and Halley working on the puzzle because it's been a long time since I have had that kind of innocent fun...thank you...thank you...thank you...
5.  I am so very grateful for GLEE because it makes me smile...thank you...thank you...thank you...
6.  I am very thankful that Kelly met us yesterday to look at the house because it was so kind of her to take the time to show me the property...thank you...thank you...thank you.
7.  I am grateful for the amazing nights sleep I got last night because I really needed it and felt like a new woman this morning because of it...thank you...thank you...thank you.
8.  I am so thankful for my car that continues to take me from place to place without complaint.  thank you..thank you...thank you.
9.  I am so grateful for getting a chance to talk to Cameron today because I miss him so much...thank you...thank you...thank you.
10.  I am very very grateful for the past two days off because I needed the separation from work.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.

The one thing that I am the most grateful for today was spending the precious time with Halley.  I am so blessed by my children.

Good night all...

Day Two...The Magic Rock

So when I couldn't sleep last night I decided to open up The Magic and begin reading where I left off...which was at Chapter 2.  In this Chapter, I was again instructed to list the 10 things I was grateful for yesterday and then find a rock that I could use each and every night as I was going to sleep.  The premise behind this is to hold the rock in the palm of your hand and think of the greatest blessing of the day and say 'Thank You'. 

After a miserable night of no sleep, panic attacks, dread and dispair, I have come to the end of the day feeling quite grateful for all that I do have in my life.  I looked at a cool house today and am convinced that if that is where the universe wants me to be, that is where I will end up...if not, the perfect house will materialize before I need to move at the end of January.

I realized as well, that the universe will also bring the most right and perfect job into my life too.  There is no need for me to stress about it.  As long as I am grateful for the job I currently have, then my next perfect job will appear.  

The challenge for me, not trusting life itself, is doing just that...trusting.  Trusting that everything will work out the way it is meant to.  That all the things I am currently going through are happening for a reason and are being presented for my higher good. My challenge is to turn these challenges into Golden Opportunities.

Tonight I will be thankful for all the beauty in my life...all the love from my family and friends...and all the opportunities that are awaiting me.  Join me?

Oops...!!!

Oh dang...after I made the commitment to post every day for the next 28 days, I skipped two days...in a row!  Wish I could say I can't believe that happened...but I can't.  Sleep won out in this instance and since sleep is something that I struggle with on a regular basis, I decided to let it win and rest when I could.

But, I am back now...and in rare form.  Albeit without coffee in hand yet... :(

I read the 'Day 1...Count Your Blessings' and am ready to do just that.  I will not bore you daily with all the things I am grateful for but I will post the ones that stand out to me daily.

You see, this is the beginning of bringing The Magic into my life.  Everyday for the next 28 days I am to list at least 10 things I am grateful for and then follow them with the powerful words...'thank you'.  There is something quite powerful about those words and I fear I do not say them as much or as often as I should.  Being thankful for the gifts in one's life works the magic of inviting more goodness in...likes attract likes.  It's plain and simple, yet oh so difficult to practice. 

I have found recently with the circumstances in my life, that I have become extremely negative...which for anyone who knows me, is not my nature.  I may be a wee bit pessimistic, but I am overall a cheerful, happy and joyful person.  When that changed, I am not sure...but what I have realized is that negativity invites more negativity...and for the most part everything that has been coming out of my mouth has been negative.  It has been very challenging to find anything recently that has brought me joy...and that has to change!  TODAY!

Today I make the shift!  With the help of 'The Magic' I am focusing on all the good in my life and not the bad.  Because quite honestly there is more good than bad.  So today I begin my list.  Below are the 10 things I am grateful for as I start my day today.  Enjoy and make your own list.

1.  I am extremely grateful to Mark and Shelley for letting me stay at their home for as long as they have...they have been so overly generous my hear t is full of love for them.  Thank You...Thank You...Thank You for your generosity and love!

2.  I am very grateful for my amazing car.  Yep, my car!  It has not had an oil change or tune-up in months, which is highly unusual for me, and yet it still powers on and get me where I need to go and back again with not complaints.  Thank you...thank you...thank you for being the best car ever!

3.  I am grateful for reconnecting with a friend last night and the wonderful dinner we shared.  Thank you...thank you...thank you for a fun evening of guacamole and margaritas.

4.  I am eternally grateful for my amazing children.  Each of them is different in so many ways but they all carry that thread of decency that binds them together forever and makes my heart sing.  I am blessed beyond words for each of them and am so very proud to be their mama.  Thank You...Thank You...Thank You to my fantastic children who make me proud every day!

5.  I am so very grateful to my funny dog...Molly who greets me with such exuberance when I come home at night.  I do not know what I would do without her song and dance routine.  Thank You...Thank You...Thank you for choosing me!

6.  I am grateful for The Ranch for providing me with a paycheck every two weeks.  Thank you...thank you...thank you for making it possible to live in the Bay Area.

7.  I am very very grateful for the amazing coffee I get to drink every morning.  Thank you...thank  you...thank you dear coffee for making my mornings bright.

8.  I am amazingly grateful for the last two nights of glorious sleep.  I feel so much more refreshed this morning thanks to you...thank you...thank you...thank you!

9.  I am extremely thankful for my assistant, Whitney, for taking care of things last night so I could not have to go back to The Ranch after the bridal show, and instead have dinner with a friend...Thank You...Thank You...Thank You.  I appreciate you more than you will ever know!

10.  I am grateful to be alive!  Even through all these struggles, I know there are reasons all this is happening and at some point I will understand why.  So for now I will be carry on with a grateful heart and know that this too shall pass.  Thank you...Thank you...Thank you for my amazing life!

Ok...there you have it...my first list of 10.  These are not in any particular order...they are just as they came to mind. 

Today will be a good day.  Today I am feeling so much for positive than yesterday.  Today I will be grateful for all blessings that come into my life and for those waiting to be realized.

Enjoy the day...I'm off for coffee...  :)

Day Two

Not a banner day today, I am sad to say.  I came face-to-face with the insensitivity of others and am having a tough time with that... :(

I did however read the first two chapters of The Magic last night and learned that in order to attract goodness into ones life one has to be grateful...otherwise you just attract what you think and project.  Should have paid attention to this a wee bit more today because this is exactly what happened to me today.  I was so bummed by a conversation I'd had with a co-worker that I couldn't shake that I just kept getting deeper and deeper into dispair and disappointment all day.  Nothing I could do would raise me out of that slump...not that I tried hard either but I did realize that by staying stuck in that place just kept creating more of the same for me.  Thus, it was a bummer of a day, to say the least.

The good news is that once I got away from the situation, I was able to regain my sensibility, so to speak, and realized that things happen for a reason and I am in no way in control of everything.  Quite a revelation if you ask me...LOL.

Tonight I move on to the beginning of the journey.  The actual work to reform and transform my life.  Wish me luck...kinda think I'm gonna need it...  :)

Day One

 
So here I am at 'Day One' after my declaration that I am committed to following through with 28 days of 'The Magic' to see if I can, through gratitude, change my life.  Tonight I will read the beginning Chapters and officially start my work tomorrow.  I have to say, even though I am very enthusiastic about this endeavor, I am a bit 'down' today.  I guess there was a part of me that honestly believed  that I would instantly see miraculous changes just because I made the decision to do this...NOT!   Today, like yesterday, was a bit of a challenge for me...tomorrow will be better.

This is going to take hard work and determination as I am, by nature, a wee bit of a pessimist...and have no patience at all.  And maybe that is part of the lesson...to learn how to be patient and allow things to unfold in their natural progression, not mine.  A hard lesson for a gal like me.

So off I venture into the first chapters of 'The Magic' to discover for myself how to use gratitude to change my life, and recapture the unabashed happiness and joy I have lost over the past few years.  Life does that to us once in awhile and it is the 'brave of heart' who find their way back to bliss.  I intend to do this!

I do believe in Magic...I do...I do...I do!

 

Welcome to 2013...

As I enter into 2013, this is not where I thought my life would be...not ever.  I never imagined I would still be without a home to call my own...a job I dislike...living paycheck to paycheck...and praying every two weeks that I will have enough money to put gas in my car to make my 50 plus mile commute to work, and then back again.  This is certainly not how I pictured it...but it is where I find myself.  Ugh!

But...this blog is NOT about what I don't have...it is about what I DO have in my life.  During this journey, I will focus on all the wonderful things I am grateful for in this year 2013...from the littlest mercies to monumental achievements.  I will chronicle the gifts and magic that come into my life each and every day this year. 

Today I begin 'The Magic'.  Today I commit to following the 28 days outlined in the book to bring more attention to the things in my life I am grateful for, and taking the focus off those things that do not meet my needs.

 'Those who don't believe in magic will never find it'    Roald Dahl

Today, I also start my 'Gratitude Jar' so that at this time next year, I can look back at each 'gift' and reflect on the memory.

No...no...this is not my jar...this is another's magic.  Once mine is created, I will post a picture.  And knowing me, it will be much larger and be a work in progress...LOL!   But it will serve the same purpose....to remind me of all the magic that happened in 2013...beginning today!

Of course my challenge will be, posting daily as my time becomes scarce on the days I work. But I have committed to this project and will carry it out, no matter how little time I have in the day.  I am committed to changing my life...and feel in my heart that this book and this blog will do just that! 

So...Let the Magic begin!....

...And if you feel so inclined, please post your blessings here too!