I know, I've been at this longer than 8 days but I'm still at it and that makes me happy. LOL. Sometimes we need to go at our own pace to make sure we really understand what is being taught, and we integrate the lessons.
I will admit a lot of this has thrown me into a tail-spin, so to speak. I have realized that somewhere along the line, and I'm not too sure where, I lost my uber positive attitude and zest for life. I was never this way until recently, so this has been a god-given gift to get back in touch with who I am and recapture my love, and excitement, for life. I will admit, I am still lost. Still trying to find my way out of whatever place I was residing. But each day gets better and better, and each day I get closer and closer to understanding exactly how 'The Magic' works. I no longer wallow for days...I am able to feel the emotion...work through it...and move on. This is good...this is really good. I am, at the end of the day, able to hold my heart rock in my hand and be thankful for more than just one amazing experience that day. I am beginning to look for the good...the positive...and the blessings again. And I love it.
Clearly things may not be what I want them to be right now, but I will not fail. I am a survivor...I am a Scot. I come from pioneer stock and I will make it through this, and come out better and stronger on the other side. This I know. I may not realize it all the time, I may slip back into panic and fear, but deep down, I know I will not fail. And for that I am grateful! Truly grateful!
So, this chapter is all about eating and nourishing your body. This is another tough one for me because, you see, whenever I get sad, stressed, depressed, you name it, I shut down. And when I shut down, I stop eating. I just can't seem to 'stomach' food when I have something else going on. So this has been a challenge over the past couple of months. I have lost a ton of weight...and not only because of stress, but because of my crazy work schedule...this is my challenge, I realize. And for me, it is easier sometimes not to eat then to try to figure out how to work it into my day...silly, I know. It's times like these that my anorexia kicks back in...and as strange as it may seem, it's my crazy way of having some control in my life as well.
As many of you know, I have just a few days to find a place to live since the house that I was moving into is no longer available. This has put undue stress on me as I also have very little time to look for places. So, with this stress, which I am trying to turn into excitement, I can't eat. Yesterday I was able to force down a veggie taco...yeah!
We need food to live...we need food to keep us at our best...we need food to make our brains work properly...this I get. So I am going to begin working on making sure that I do eat. Promise!
As I face this day, this is what I am thankful for...
1. I am so grateful that I have a roof over my head and that Shelley and Mark have been so gracious and kind to let me stay here for as long as they have...thank you...thank you...thank you.
2. I am thankful that there was one place that I found yesterday that would meet my needs temporarily. Thank you...thank you...thank you.
3. I am grateful that even though I found this one place, I know others will materialize and present themselves, so I will not be homeless. Thank you...thank you...thank you.
4. I am so very thankful for the friendship of Shelley...she is a rock and won't let me fail. Thank you...thank you...thank you.
5. I am so very grateful that even through all the stress, I remain positive about the outcome of finding a place for Halley, Justin and I to live. Thank you...thank you...thank you for my undying spirit.
6. I am grateful that I have a clean car...thank you...thank you...thank you to all the wonderful folks who worked on it yesterday. I makes me happy to have a clean car!!! Thank you...thank you...thank you!
7. I am eternally grateful for the support of all my kids through this tough time. I am not quite sure how I got here, but here I am, and I am so appreciative of their love and support...they have no idea. Thank you ... thank you...thank you!
8. I am especially grateful for my daughter-in-law, Tiffany, who has taken it upon herself to help guide me through this entire process of finding a place to live. This is foreign territory for me and a very stressful ordeal. She has been a blessing. Thank you...thank you...thank you. I don't know what I would do without you!
9. I am also extremely grateful for my Scottish daughter, Isla, who is there for me all the time...even across thousands of miles she is my constant reminder that I need to be gentle with myself and love myself first. Amen to that my dear. Thank you...thank you...thank you! You too are a blessing in my life!
10. And I am so very very grateful for this life experience. I have learned so much. I do not ever want to be in this place ever again but I do value the lesson of not taking anything for granted...thank you...thank you...thank you.
SO, let's go out there and make it the best day ever. I know more properties will manifest for me...I know I will find my right and perfect house...and I know too that my new exciting job that fills my heart with joy and passion is arriving soon !
Namaste!
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