Yikes...

It's been two days since I have been able to make my way to my computer to write...I hate that.  Although I am amazed at how life can step in and totally upset one's schedule.  For some reason, until today, I have been sleeping well beyond my normal wake up time of 5am...thus no time to post.  Of course, I am making up for that this morning by being awake at 2am...oh dear.

I have realized that not posting has affected my level of gratitude.  I am finding it harder to stay positive and feel good about my life in general...the pessimism has begun to return and I am finding myself being a lot less joyful in general.  So for any of you who think this doesn't work...well, it does.  I am living proof of that.  So I'm back at it...

I left off on the chapter about health and I haven't gotten back to it.  By in large, my health is good...and maybe that is why I have let this fall off a bit.  But that has done me no good.  I have had a struggle the past couple of days staying positive in general.  I'm looking for the positive and not seeing much of it at all...however, having said that, I haven't really been focused on the positive either...so I am sure that is a big reason why the positive is alluding me...

The biggest challenge for me is work.  There is little I like about it except for the people I work with so it makes it difficult to stay positive when the environment around me is so negative...so negative.  And maybe that's the challenge, to find the positive and be grateful for that...maybe then my new job will materialize.  It will be interesting to see because right now, being positive about anything at work is a real struggle.

But, this too shall pass...this was the first weekend without my assistant...and it was a struggle...and I missed her.  She was the shining star in my day. 


Ok...enough belly-aching...time to get back to being positive and grateful for everything I have in my life...and not what I lack, or is wrong.  That will get me nowhere and do nothing but continue to drag me down...and I don't need that, that is for sure.

So, here are the 10 things I am grateful for this Sunday morning at 3:00am...

1.   I am so very very grateful I have a roof over my head...and thankful to Mark and Shelley for providing it to me.  Thank you...thank you...thank you...
2.  I am thankful to have had the opportunity to work with the amazing Whitney...thanks for teaching me how to be tenacious and speak my mind.  Thank you ... thank you...thank you.
3.  I continue to be grateful for my wonderful car which just keeps rolling along without complaint.  Thank you...thank you...thank you for your loyalty.
4.  I am grateful to my darling Scottish daughter, Isla, who religiously is there with me on facebook when I cannot sleep in the middle of the night, and who always provides me with tons of love and support.  Thank you...thank you...thank you Isla.  I am so blessed to have you in my life.
5.  I am so very grateful for the time I have gotten to spend with my daughter, Halley.  I miss her so much and it has been such a blessing to have her around for the past couple of weeks...Thank you...thank you...thank you.
6.  I am eternally grateful to have had the time to talk with my son, Cameron, this week as well.  He's been out of the country and is finally back so we can resume our talks...thank you...thank you...thank you.  You are my inspiration.
7.  I am very grateful for the knowing that, this too shall  pass, and that everything is going to work out, even if there are days when I think the entire world will crash in around me.  I do, in my heart of hearts know that things will get better...they always do, and for that I am grateful.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
8.  I am thankful for the good sleep I have gotten over the past few nights.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
9.  I am very thankful for my morning coffee...it is the one thing I look forward to every morning.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.
10.  I am so very thankful that I have also gotten time to talk with my daughter, Ailis, these past couple days.  I miss her so much as well and it is wonderful to get to talk to her.  Thank you...thank you...thank you.

Well, there's my list for today.  Interestingly, I do feel much better...not as down as I was when I started writing this.  I think I might even be able to sleep for a little while now....

Wish me luck!